Hopeful Solutions For Your Sexless Marriage...

Sign Up for Our FREE E-Report From a practicing Marriage and Family Therapist that has spent over 60,000 hours helping hundreds and hundreds of couples in his 30 year career as a professional! “Discover how YOU (Yes, BOTH OF YOU!) can put some serious passion into your sexual relationship while avoiding the pitfalls that are known*, beyond any doubt, to bring every marriage to a crashing end.” From: Dr. Andrew D. Atwood Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Licensed Master Social Worker Clinical Member, American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy Dear Visitor, Have you wondered about what life would be like if you didn’t have to cope with the ongoing frustration that goes with living in a relationship that is, by one definition or another, sexless? What if there is a way for you and your partner to break out of the gridlock? What if the two of you could get UNstuck from the struggle that is sucking the life right out of your relationship? Imagine… what enormous energy you could get from being able to create a relationship that has not only more intimacy, but more sexual satisfaction for both of you? Well the honest truth is that there are ways that each of you can break the gridlock that has you stuck! There are actual steps that you can take that will move you both closer to a more intimate and erotic relationship! You might be tempted to just blow-off this promise of practical help. Don’t do it! Don’t give in to the negative doubts that have contributed to the dilemma you are in right now. Listen to these words of hope. Take just a couple of minutes and read about some of the tips you’ll be given that will help you to work with, and through the struggles that are threatening your relationship. Here’s a sneak peak at some of the practical tips that you will learn. But first, I have to explain something important to you, or you will be thinking I’m a bit crazy! I’ve found that a lot of men need to learn about their own sexuality, and their partner’s sexuality. It isn’t that women are so much wiser about sexuality, but they do seem to be – in general – more educated and more willing to learn. Don’t get me wrong. I know that about half of the people who come to this website are women, which makes the other half men! Simple truth is, guys need a little more help in support and encouragement to work at increasing intimacy and eroticism. Given that fact, here is what I’ve done. I’ve written a travelogue! Yes, a “Travelogue through the Land of Sexless Marriage Problems.” Real straight advice for real straight guys and gals, with some occasional humor! (This can be a tough subject to work with. A lot of feelings can get stirred up. So let’s chuckle a little along the way!) Is your relationship stuck on the side of the road because you are anxious about approaching each other sexually? Yes, if you are stuck… I’ve got something that can rescue you from your dilemma! Here is a partial list of the content included in Hopeful Solutions for Your Sexless Marriage. You will undoubtedly recognize yourself in one or more of these Chapters. Who else is out there traveling through “the land of sexless marriage problems?” Armed with the right facts you might be able to feel more “normal.” Anxious? Of course you are! This is an adventure! But too much of the wrong anxiety will kill your libido. Maybe you are already suffering form the wrong anxiety? Anxiety is feedback on how well you are driving with your partner. When your anxiety is low, you are just fine…cruising along… just fine. If your anxiety is high, you are in trouble! Let’s look at your driving record – personal history, sexual history, and relationship history. All three are important. And any of these three from your history can be messing up your sexual desire in the present. Where you now and where are are you going on this journey? Yes, let’s take a look at your present relationship and what is getting in the way today. Here’s a Pocket Map that will show you where you might be off track. Oh, oh… so many people have found this incredible little tool to be enormously useful. Four levels for building a relationship. Screw up this gradual step-by-step process and you invite trouble. Do it right, and bliss is your destination. Who are you traveling with? Who is your partner? The works of Myers and Briggs can help you to know. Use this time-tested and deeply researched tool to understand your own fundamental temperament, and your partner’s. Take some of the mystery out of who you each are. You and your partner are different. You enjoy foreplay differently. Your engine gets turned on differently. You have different attitudes toward oral sex. Lots of differences. Time to stop and take a look at some of these differences and how they might be getting in the way. Substance abuse, pornography, masturbation, sex addictions, anger… all might be making it difficult to travel together. Yes, when this stuff is present it can be very difficult to get turned-on. How about the travel games you play, and your different styles of “driving?” Do you like to play games? Does your partner? Some are a turn-on, and some are a turn-off. Are you test-driving, leasing, or owning? Each is a different level of commitment. Some of us don’t want to make love with a partner that has a partial commitment. How well tuned-up are each of you? If you have mechanical problems you’ll have a break down. And oh my, can there be a lot of mechanical problems! The really bugger is that a lot of mechanical problems aren’t obvious. Have enough gas, enough energy for the trip? Exhausted? Empty? Too pooped to pop? This is the single BIGGEST complaint from couples who come into my office. “We are just too tired to get it on.” Oops, a real breakdown. Where do you go for roadside service? To your M.D.? Some kind of counselor? Here are some practical tips about who is good for what problem. On a life-long trip, how do you stay psyched up and not bored? I’ve been married 36 years myself, and in almost all ways, I still feel like I’m 21 years old! But, I have been bored along the way. There are smart ways to address the boredom, and there are really dumb ways. What are those gauges on the dashboard? Your arousal threshold, orgasmic threshold, and your subjective emotional responses can help you to stay on the road. Take a look at these diagrams and figure out how well you are doing. If something is amiss, you better pull over and address it… now! Some of the common problems encountered on any road trip, such as not being able to turn over the engine, questions of gender identity, female “mechanical” problems, his struggle to keep it up, popping the clutch with premature ejaculation, etc. How to spend your time while traveling together – talking, growing, being silent, and giving road-head! Yup, this can really be a close and intimate, as well as an erotic trip! What to do when traveling together sucks (or doesn’t) and you aren’t happy any longer. Should you pull over and call the trip off? What? Picking up hitch hikers – 7 kinds of affairs of the heart and genitals. Two’s company; three’s a crowd. Falling asleep at the wheel – benign and hostile neglect. My own father told me that this was the single biggest contributor to marriage problems. He was right. Necessary pit stops to relieve your self. Yes, sometimes it is absolutely necessary to pull over at a rest stop. Getting lost on the journey, and finding your way back home. Guys don’t like to use maps, of course. But, you both can get lost at times. Here is a map of the human journey that we are all on, and what you can do to get back on track. Running out of gas for the journey. Are you too pooped to put out? Back to this subject again! It is so critical. Most of life is sucking us dry! Unexpected problems that really stop you – mental, emotional, physical, relational and cultural breakdowns. Don’t pretend this stuff isn’t happening if it really is. Take and inventory, and address it now so that eroticism and intimacy are rekindled. Electrical problems – when the spark is gone. Of course, the spark always goes out after a few years. Here is some advice on how to address this ever so common challenge. The point system – getting busted by the cops for bad behavior. I’m talking about really bad behavior. When you have done something horribly wrong, or your partner has… it can be a challenge to get past it. Tips for driving through bad weather – some of them are obvious, and some of them might seem kinky. Enough said. What to do when you get car sick, or just plain sick physically. How do you make love with someone who is ill and throwing up? Crashes – like when your erection fails you, or romantic interludes fail, or when you work real hard and can’t come. Broken dreams should be temporary setbacks, not permanent states of despair. Dead ends – abuse, either physical or emotional. This is the time to drop the peddle to the metal, and get going… and get out! The role of a regular 3,000-mile maintenance check-up. “You can pay me now, or you can pay me later.” Cruising along and visiting scenic overlooks – everything is beautiful! Yes, there are moments of great joy and eternal bliss… moments that will be remembered forever. Marking and celebrating your progress. You’ve made it! You have traveled THROUGH the Land of Sexless Marriage Problems. Celebrate! And share your story with others who need to go on a road trip. There are, in fact, 50 chapters in Hopeful Solutions for Your Sexless Marriage! I've only shared some of the topics covered...

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