Survive An Affair...

"I Wanted To Strangle My Husband Ray When I Caught Him Red-Handed In An Affair" "I Felt So Devastated, Enraged and Humiliated. I Never Dreamed I Could Save My Marriage, Let Alone Trust Him Again..." Wednesday, 11:13 a.m. Dr. Frank Gunzburg Dear Friend, Almost everyone was watching Grandpa open his gifts except the few who saw Ray and Kathy out of the corners of their eyes. Those who witnessed it were shocked and amazed. Those who heard about it were relieved. Even Kathy's daughter, hidden in the corner of the room, saw it and wrestled back her tears of joy. As Ray sat alienated in the back, he felt a hand slip softly into his. Looking down, he recognized the fingers he'd known for years laced lovingly through his hand. He glanced up slowly to see Kathy's reassuring face as she gave him a smile. ...And That's When I Knew Ray And Kathy Were Turning The Corner. No longer was Ray cold and defensive, backed into his corner of isolation. No longer was Kathy feeling emotionally shipwrecked, paralyzed with humiliating images of Ray in the arms of the other woman. ...tormented by her unanswered questions. ....devastated after having her complete self-worth sabotaged. After only a few weeks, something major was starting to change. Suddenly, talking about the details didn't feel like taking a walk in a minefield. Kathy's emotions were finally starting to be under her control and no longer holding her hostage. Ray began to open up and communicate with sincerity and humility. He gently allowed her to express the trauma she experienced without arguing or throwing it back in her face (more on Ray and Kathy's story in a second). At this point, I realized that the consistent methods I have been using for 30 years would work for almost anyone (if at least one of them is willing to start before it is too late). You see, I'm not going to lie to you. Restoring Trust After The Affair Might Sound Like An Empty Promise Or Too Good To Be True, But It Is Possible. Not only have I seen it, but I have helped people take control by equipping them with a 3-phase system that can restore their relationship with more honesty, safety, and intimacy than before the affair (even if their spouse isn't yet willing). My name is Dr. Frank Gunzburg. For 15 of my 59 years, I have lived in Baltimore, Maryland with my wife Sandy, our five children, and our six grandchildren. For the most part, I'd say it's been a quiet life, except for one thing. Over the last 30 years, I have fought in the trenches alongside couples who are desperate to save their marriages after affairs. Some come to me hopeful, some come cold and battle-hardened, and others come alone, uncertain, and praying that I can breath life back into their near-dead relationship. After three decades of specializing in marriage counseling, I've seen many people give up. I've seen many relationships where the couples put off healing too long and eventually cause irreparable damage. More importantly, I've seen the majority of my couples overcome what they imagined to be unbeatable odds by restoring their relationship and making it better than before the affair. Sound hard to believe? Perhaps, but all I ask is that you refrain from disbelieving until I show you proof. Imagine this... what if I told you that the magic bullet for rebuilding your relationship included one or more of the following ten actions: Talking. Asking for forgiveness. Reading self-help books. Praying. Sending letters, cards, and flowers. Being more attentive. Going to counseling. Setting boundaries. Discussing the details and answering all questions. Meeting each other's needs. You might say I'm right, or you might say you've tried these and many more things and they simply don't work. In April 2004, right before I finished outlining my affair-healing system, I performed an extensive survey of 300 willing couples who all had one thing in common - a relationship ripped apart by an affair. In addition to 30 extensive questions, I asked them to list the top 10 things they tried in an attempt to heal their relationship. The list above is the result of this study (with talking leading the pack at 58%). However, despite all that hard work (including counseling), only 55% were willing to continue the relationship. (Of those who were willing to continue, 71% stayed because of the children.) Like Kathy, many were ready to call it quits. So, what was the problem? Successfully repairing your relationship is not about doing a lot of hard work; it's a system. This system is about doing the right things, BUT more importantly, doing them in the right order. You see, all of the things listed above can be good, but most of the time they are performed in the wrong order. Let me explain with an example. Talking About The Details Of The Affair Can Be The Difference Between Staying Together And Splitting Up. Fact: Of 1083 married couples surveyed, out of the group who discussed the affair in great detail, 86% remained married. Out of the group